We got our Supreme Court date!!! It is May 24th at 3:10 p.m. That will be 6:10 a.m. CST. I hope you will all join in prayer at that time for us as we appear before the Supreme Court in Moscow to appeal our adoption.
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post again. But I have a couple of good reasons. We received our court date via telegram on Monday, April 25th. Greg checked the mail about 7:30 p.m. and there were two telegrams in Russian, one addressed to each of us. They were in phonetical Russian...meaning they were in Russian, but phonetically spelled using the English alphabet. So we couldn't use Google translate to figure it out. We ended up taking them to a friend's house who teaches languages at the U of A. He was able to translate it enough to figure out that it was our court date.
We were very excited but also unsure if it was official. By the time we got home that night it was almost 11:00 p.m. We had called, emailed and text messaged our adoption agency social worker. She called us back and said that they couldn't confirm the telegram message until they spoke to their Russian staff. None of them we were expecting us to receive notification of our court date via telegram. They thought it would be sent to our lawyer in Russia and he would let us know. So we waited on pins and needles...we're kinda accustomed to that by now.
By Tuesday afternoon we got confirmation from our adoption agency that it was indeed our court date! I was going to post it on here, but I never got a chance before I went to work on Wednesday. Then Wednesday our city was rocked by an F-5 tornado. We have just now gotten back internet service so I can post. Our area of the city is fine. Our apartment is fine and our friends and family are safe. However, much of our city is completely destroyed. I'm sure you've seen the coverage on the news.
So I'm asking that you please pray for our city as you pray for our Supreme Court date. Thank you all. we are so thankful for the support you've given us for so many weeks. You have been our Aarons, holding us up in prayer. We are so grateful. You will never understand how much the thoughts and prayers mean to us.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Raw
I have hesitated to compose this post. I feel like it could be perceived as attention or sympathy-seeking. I don't want people to feel sorry for us. In fact, if you feel inclined to comment with some form of "I'm so sorry", although I know you really mean it and I appreciate your sharing our sorrow, I want you to instead leave a comment of praise to God for our suffering. Please don't take offense to that request...we are so blessed by your thoughts and prayers. But we KNOW that God is making us perfect in our weakness. So we will continue to endure any pain that comes our way by praising him and allowing him to heal us. We are blessed to be children of God and our suffering is making our faith stronger and our relationship with God more complete. First and foremost, every circumstance of our life should be lived for Christ, be it pleasant or unpleasant in the worldly sense of those words. To live is Christ and to die is gain. Greg and I keep reminding each other of that daily as we walk this difficult path we find ourselves on for this season of our lives. In the midst of our suffering, there is joy, hope and peace. There really is...I'm not just speaking Christianese.
Still, the suffering is raw. It is painful. There are times when I collapse in tears. I miss Kirill so much. I replay our last visit with him and wish I had kissed him one more time, savored his touch and his smell just a little longer, taken more pictures, told him how much we loved him just one more time before we walked out of the orphanage.
And then there are reminders that punch me in the gut with no time to prepare or shield myself from their emotional blows. Like ripping the scab from a wound and exposing the raw tissue once again. They come out of nowhere and they reduce me to a heap on on the floor.
There's the afternoon last week when I picked up a load of clothes from the cleaners. As I unwrapped the plastic covers I found the jacket I wore to court. I sat in my closet and cried as I remembered the last time I wore it and the horrible feelings of loss associated with that day.
There's the afternoon that I picked up Clayton from school and he told me they had talked about birthdays. He realized that Kirill's birthday was coming up, but Kirill wasn't going to be here, and they couldn't have a joint birthday party like we had planned. He cried and asked me over and over, "But WHY mommy? You said Kirill was coming home. You LIED to me." We both sobbed all the way home as I tried to explain to him that mommy didn't lie, it just didn't turn out the way we expected.
There's the alarm I had set on my phone weeks before we left for Russia reminding me to add Kirill to our medical insurance after we got home. When I saw the words on the screen of my phone, I had to brace myself against the wall as I cried out to God for strength to make it through the grief.
There's the text I got from someone who couldn't have know what happened, asking how Kirill was doing now that he was home. It took me a full 24 hours to find the words to respond.
Even as I sit here typing this, tears are streaming. Clayton is watching Saturday morning cartoons on Qubo and "Willa's Wild Life" is all about a bear from Russia. Clayton is repeating Russian phrases to the t.v. He should be saying them to Kirill...he should have a brother here watching cartoons with him. Sigh...
I wallow, I cry, I hide under the covers, I beg God to take the pain away, to work a miracle, to bring Kirill home. And I hear his voice saying, "I love Kirill more than you. I know your pain. I see your suffering. Trust me. Seek me. Listen to me. And know that I AM GOD...and you are not."
Then I get up, thank God, and ask him for what I need to make it through the next day, hour, or minute. And you know what? He always gives me just enough. And really, what else can we ask for?
Still, the suffering is raw. It is painful. There are times when I collapse in tears. I miss Kirill so much. I replay our last visit with him and wish I had kissed him one more time, savored his touch and his smell just a little longer, taken more pictures, told him how much we loved him just one more time before we walked out of the orphanage.
And then there are reminders that punch me in the gut with no time to prepare or shield myself from their emotional blows. Like ripping the scab from a wound and exposing the raw tissue once again. They come out of nowhere and they reduce me to a heap on on the floor.
There's the afternoon last week when I picked up a load of clothes from the cleaners. As I unwrapped the plastic covers I found the jacket I wore to court. I sat in my closet and cried as I remembered the last time I wore it and the horrible feelings of loss associated with that day.
There's the afternoon that I picked up Clayton from school and he told me they had talked about birthdays. He realized that Kirill's birthday was coming up, but Kirill wasn't going to be here, and they couldn't have a joint birthday party like we had planned. He cried and asked me over and over, "But WHY mommy? You said Kirill was coming home. You LIED to me." We both sobbed all the way home as I tried to explain to him that mommy didn't lie, it just didn't turn out the way we expected.
There's the alarm I had set on my phone weeks before we left for Russia reminding me to add Kirill to our medical insurance after we got home. When I saw the words on the screen of my phone, I had to brace myself against the wall as I cried out to God for strength to make it through the grief.
There's the text I got from someone who couldn't have know what happened, asking how Kirill was doing now that he was home. It took me a full 24 hours to find the words to respond.
Even as I sit here typing this, tears are streaming. Clayton is watching Saturday morning cartoons on Qubo and "Willa's Wild Life" is all about a bear from Russia. Clayton is repeating Russian phrases to the t.v. He should be saying them to Kirill...he should have a brother here watching cartoons with him. Sigh...
I wallow, I cry, I hide under the covers, I beg God to take the pain away, to work a miracle, to bring Kirill home. And I hear his voice saying, "I love Kirill more than you. I know your pain. I see your suffering. Trust me. Seek me. Listen to me. And know that I AM GOD...and you are not."
Then I get up, thank God, and ask him for what I need to make it through the next day, hour, or minute. And you know what? He always gives me just enough. And really, what else can we ask for?
Friday, April 8, 2011
Thank You God!
The 7 Day Blitz met its goal in 4 days...holy moly. THANK YOU TO KIRILL'S ARMY OF SUPPORTERS.
It seems so lame. Two words...THANK YOU. But that's all I've got. I can't even come up with words to describe how my heart feels knowing that so many people are supporting us. So please, accept my lame thank you and just know, those two words have so much emotion behind them...hope, joy, peace, faith, encouragement, excitement, relief, humility, LOVE.
It seems so lame. Two words...THANK YOU. But that's all I've got. I can't even come up with words to describe how my heart feels knowing that so many people are supporting us. So please, accept my lame thank you and just know, those two words have so much emotion behind them...hope, joy, peace, faith, encouragement, excitement, relief, humility, LOVE.
KIRILL SAYS "YAY!"
But it's not over. Because we still have three days left in the giveaway, you can still give...but there's a catch. We met our goal. Now let's help another family, OK? Go to Bethany's blog to read the whole story....and help bring Archie home too. If I could give you all a virtual hug, I would. Thank you again. SO. MUCH.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
7-Day Blitz for Kirill
I'm just overwhelmed...I don't even really know what to write about this. Several of my DS mommy blogger friends have gotten together and are doing an online fundraiser for Kirill. Because of the appeal, we are incurring a LOT more expense for this adoption than we ever anticipated. Knowing how much international adoption costs, these mommies put together a fundraiser to help us continue our journey to try to adopt Kirill. Here are the rules: For every $10 donation, you are entered in a contest to win some FABULOUS prizes. I've copied the following from Bethany's blog...go THERE to enter (or to Charissa's, Lisa's, Renee's, or McKenna's blogs)!
Oil paintings by regional artist, Lisa Tarkett Reed, celebrate and explore the relationships and patterns in nature. Reed’s paintings are inspired by her growing collection of natural objects. Flowers, crystals, rocks, leaves, shells and bones, collected by Reed over decades, provide points of departure in her work. As Reed layers line, shape and color, she discovers and plays with the geometry, relationships, and patterns inherent in organic forms.
In October 2011, Reed will have a solo exhibition at The Artists’ Gallery in Frederick, MD. Currently, Reed has a solo exhibition at Les Idees Gallery, Duquesne University, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Reed has had solo exhibitions at the Sweetwater Center for the Arts, Gallery Lascaux, Gallery 937 and View from Zenith Gallery, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as well as at Shenandoah University, Leesburg, Virginia, Figure Five Gallery, San Francisco, California and the Walker Fine Arts Center Gallery at Patrick Henry Community College, Roanoke, Virginia. Reed has shown her work in group exhibitions at the Cheltenham Center for the Arts, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Mary Condon Hodgson Gallery at Frederick Community College, Frederick, Maryland, The Delaplaine Visual Arts Education Center, Frederick, Maryland, Kentler International Drawing Space, Brooklyn, New York, the Carnegie Museum of Art and the Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the State Museum of Pennsylvania, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, and the Hoyt Institute of Fine Arts, New Castle, Pennsylvania.
Reed has taught drawing and painting for over fifteen years in regional art centers in Maryland, Pittsburgh and Virginia and at private schools in Brooklyn and Virginia.
Reed earned a BFA in painting from Tyler School of Art, Temple University, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and studied painting in Rome, Italy as part of the Temple University Abroad Program. Reed earned an MFA from the San Francisco Art Institute, San Francisco, California.
In 2009, Reed founded Sister MamaCita, a Mothers’ Cooperative in the Arts and sister group to the Philadelphia based MamaCita, a Mothers’ Cooperative in the Arts founded by Melissa Tevere in 2005.
You will get...
Rules...
1) Every $10 donation using the ChipIn to Kirill will earn you an entry into the drawing for one of the prizes.
2) Prizes can be shipped overseas if the winner is willing to pay for shipping.
3) Donations will be accepted through Monday, April 11th.
4) Winners will be announced Tuesday, April 12th.
"Being an adoptive mother to a Russian orphan with Down syndrome, I could expand on the million-and-one reasons Tesney and Greg's rejected application to adopt has deeply affected me. But that is not what is important.
What is important is that they are appealing the judge's ruling to the Supreme Court of Moscow and they need our help.
The Davis family has been through so much already... and now they have been slammed with astronomical unforeseen financial hurdles in bringing Kirill home. In order to just begin the process of filing their appeal, they had to pay $2,500. They have been told that they should plan to attend the Supreme Court hearing, which is a trip to Russia they never planned to have to make... add $3,000 - $4,000. If the Supreme Court overturns the ruling, they will have to return home and wait for a date to travel to Kirill's region to reappear before the original judge in their case... add $4,000 - $5,000. Assuming everything goes as planned, they will remain in country for the 10 day waiting period and finalization of their adoption... add $3,000 - $3,500.
So how can you help? A few of us adoptive mommy bloggers have put our heads together to create a 7 day blitz for Kirill."
Read all about the camera here.
And... a lifetime membership to ClickinMoms. An online haven of all things photography... tips and tutorials on everything from how to use your camera to editing your images to starting a photography business.
What is important is that they are appealing the judge's ruling to the Supreme Court of Moscow and they need our help.
The Davis family has been through so much already... and now they have been slammed with astronomical unforeseen financial hurdles in bringing Kirill home. In order to just begin the process of filing their appeal, they had to pay $2,500. They have been told that they should plan to attend the Supreme Court hearing, which is a trip to Russia they never planned to have to make... add $3,000 - $4,000. If the Supreme Court overturns the ruling, they will have to return home and wait for a date to travel to Kirill's region to reappear before the original judge in their case... add $4,000 - $5,000. Assuming everything goes as planned, they will remain in country for the 10 day waiting period and finalization of their adoption... add $3,000 - $3,500.
So how can you help? A few of us adoptive mommy bloggers have put our heads together to create a 7 day blitz for Kirill."
::
Our first prize...
Canon EOS Rebel XS Digital SLR camera
Read all about the camera here.
And... a lifetime membership to ClickinMoms. An online haven of all things photography... tips and tutorials on everything from how to use your camera to editing your images to starting a photography business.
:::
Our second prize...
Cirque
- recently juried into the FMH Crestwood Gallery for the Celebration exhibition
- completed in 2010
- oil on canvas
- measures 3 feet by 4 feet
Oil paintings by regional artist, Lisa Tarkett Reed, celebrate and explore the relationships and patterns in nature. Reed’s paintings are inspired by her growing collection of natural objects. Flowers, crystals, rocks, leaves, shells and bones, collected by Reed over decades, provide points of departure in her work. As Reed layers line, shape and color, she discovers and plays with the geometry, relationships, and patterns inherent in organic forms.
In October 2011, Reed will have a solo exhibition at The Artists’ Gallery in Frederick, MD. Currently, Reed has a solo exhibition at Les Idees Gallery, Duquesne University, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Reed has had solo exhibitions at the Sweetwater Center for the Arts, Gallery Lascaux, Gallery 937 and View from Zenith Gallery, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as well as at Shenandoah University, Leesburg, Virginia, Figure Five Gallery, San Francisco, California and the Walker Fine Arts Center Gallery at Patrick Henry Community College, Roanoke, Virginia. Reed has shown her work in group exhibitions at the Cheltenham Center for the Arts, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Mary Condon Hodgson Gallery at Frederick Community College, Frederick, Maryland, The Delaplaine Visual Arts Education Center, Frederick, Maryland, Kentler International Drawing Space, Brooklyn, New York, the Carnegie Museum of Art and the Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the State Museum of Pennsylvania, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, and the Hoyt Institute of Fine Arts, New Castle, Pennsylvania.
Reed has taught drawing and painting for over fifteen years in regional art centers in Maryland, Pittsburgh and Virginia and at private schools in Brooklyn and Virginia.
Reed earned a BFA in painting from Tyler School of Art, Temple University, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and studied painting in Rome, Italy as part of the Temple University Abroad Program. Reed earned an MFA from the San Francisco Art Institute, San Francisco, California.
In 2009, Reed founded Sister MamaCita, a Mothers’ Cooperative in the Arts and sister group to the Philadelphia based MamaCita, a Mothers’ Cooperative in the Arts founded by Melissa Tevere in 2005.
::
You will get...
- custom header
- custom background
- custom signature and sidebar headers
- installation of pages
- installation of facebook/twitter/rss feed widgets
- and more!
::
Our fourth prize...
UltraHD Flip video camera.
donated by Joanne Charland, momma to Vinnie (a T21 friend)
donated by Joanne Charland, momma to Vinnie (a T21 friend)
Read all about the video camera here.
::
Our fifth prize...
Organic Bloom Frame
- measures 16" x 20"
- choose from a variety of styles and color combinations
:::
Our sixth prize...
Our sixth prize...
(Three Little Butterflies)
hardcover book, signed by Conny Wenk
"Schmetterlingszauber is a book about the wonderful friendship of three beautiful little girls. Although they are colorful and unique like little butterflies, they have many more things in common than they don't.
They love spending lots of time together, whether they hang out at home or on the playground having fun galore. Sometimes they even have picnics on a beautiful meadow. They love dressing up like little princesses, polishing their nails, having little "imitation" tattoos, singing and dancing, telling bedtime stories to each other and of course, jumping on the bed.
They can be really wild ... but to me they are just three little butterflies."
:::
Our seventh prize...
(3) handmade hats.
donated by Heather Randlett, momma to Bridget (a T21 friend)
1. Newborn/Baby Beanie-Style Hat... This crocheted baby beanie is crafted with a soft cotton/bamboo blend yarn, adorned with a shabby chic crocheted flower. Perfect for cute newborn baby pictures.
2. Women's Beanie-Style Hat... This crocheted beanie-style hat is crafted with a super soft alpaca/acrylic blend yarn, with 3 beautiful colors - celery green, mocha, and cream.
3. Women's Ski-Style Hat... This knitted snug-fitting ski-style hat is crafted with a soft acrylic/wool blend yarn in a rich cranberry color.
2. Women's Beanie-Style Hat... This crocheted beanie-style hat is crafted with a super soft alpaca/acrylic blend yarn, with 3 beautiful colors - celery green, mocha, and cream.
3. Women's Ski-Style Hat... This knitted snug-fitting ski-style hat is crafted with a soft acrylic/wool blend yarn in a rich cranberry color.
**All are hand wash only, lay flat to dry.
:::
Rules...
1) Every $10 donation using the ChipIn to Kirill will earn you an entry into the drawing for one of the prizes.
2) Prizes can be shipped overseas if the winner is willing to pay for shipping.
3) Donations will be accepted through Monday, April 11th.
4) Winners will be announced Tuesday, April 12th.
A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE...
I am so overwhelmed at what these wonderful ladies are doing to help us continue our adoption. So jump on over to one of their blogs and enter. BUT MOST OF ALL, PLEASE PRAY FOR KIRILL AND OUR ADOPTION. THANK YOU SO MUCH...YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOUR SUPPORT MEANS TO US. REALLY, THERE ARE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW HUMBLED AND GRATEFUL WE ARE TO EVERYONE WHO HAS PRAYED, DONATED, OR SENT A KIND WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO US. KIRILL IS SO LOVED!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Just Keep Running
Hebrews 12:1-3
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. 3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. 3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.
In the past, I've tried to be a runner. I even ran a half-marathon once and vowed that if God let me finish without dying, I would never attempt something so stupid again. I'm slow, I have terrible form, and I suck wind the entire time. I really loved jogging for a while; it was therapeutic. But there's a difference between a jogging and running. Jogging is pretty much fast walking. If anything, I'm a jogger; I'm not a runner.
Several of my good friends are runners. I've been to marathons to cheer them on and I'm always in awe of their ability to endure the race when everything in their mind and body tells them to STOP. I've watched them around mile 23, struggling to put one foot in front of the other but somehow mustering the strength and endurance to just keep running through the pain.
A few nights ago I had a dream. It was so vivid and I've been replaying it over and over in my mind. I was running a race and I actually won. At the end of the race, I crossed the finish line and Greg was there waiting for me. We were celebrating the victory, but he told me that I couldn't get the prizes for winning the race. I had not paid the entry fee, so I wasn't qualified to win anything. The prizes were also vivid in my mind; there were clothes, money, children's items, and gift certificates to various stores. But I couldn't have any of the prizes because I was never officially entered into the race. I had to accept that I had run the race and finished in first place; but I would not be able to have any material "treasures" to show for my accomplishment of finishing first. And I was okay with this. I was reminded of Jesus and how he ran the race of life, enduring the horrible persecution of men, winning nothing here on earth, but winning everything in heaven.
I believe God gave me this dream to let me know that no matter what happens with Kirill, I am simply called to run the race. I'm not guaranteed any kind of earthly rewards. My prize is Jesus and being with him in Heaven. My race is to run to HIM. So I will keep putting one foot in front of the other despite the pain. I will keep my eyes focused on the prize and run the path that Jesus has paved for me. Because the race is won and victory is in HIM.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Conglomeration
Brain. Is. Fried. Going on fumes...not much sleeping going on around here. So here are some of the thoughts that are keeping me up at night. It's a conglomeration. Bear with me.
- The waiting is excruciating. I'm not some kind of super-human pillar of strength. I have bad (OK, terrible) moments. Ask Greg...he gets to see most all of my weak moments. I'm just so sad about not bring able to bring Kirill home right now. BUT...we are strong in Christ. We have God's peace and we KNOW that he knows our heart, he loves Kirill more than even us, and he hears and IS ANSWERING all the hundreds of thousands...I think probably millions by now...prayers going up for Kirill and the other children of his region. We don't know how that's going to look in the end when God is finished writing Kirill's story, but we know it will be used to spread the love of Christ. I know God is being glorified through our precious Kirill.
- Can anyone tell me how to make a navigation bar? I want to be able to have a place at the top of my blog that will take people to Kirill's Story so that it's easy to find and share. I want to keep posting on here and I don't want that post to get buried. Contact me if you can help...there is an email me option on my profile. I'm not techie. At. All. I could figure it out I'm sure, but I don't have time right now. Someone else designed our other (family) blog and there is a navigation bar on it, but I didn't make it. :)
- I'm totally overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, support, prayers...totally overwhelmed. I mean, the prayers...wow, "Save Kirill" logos are all over my FB page, I have tons of emails coming in every day, there are lots of sweet comments on my blog, texts, random acts letting us know people are thinking of us, offers to help with Clayton while we work on our appeal, friends cleaning, doing errands, helping me respond to messages...I could go on and on. There's no way I can ever thank everyone for everything. I'm just praying that somehow God lets them know how much it means to us. We hope we can be that kind of support to others. The love of Christ's body is a truly amazing thing.
- Clayton is not fully aware of what's going on, so that's kind of hard. We didn't want to tell him too much. He's SO EXCITED about Kirill and until we are told "no" and have exhausted every avenue to bring him home, we are not going to tell Clayton otherwise. Right now he's sleeping with the blankie we took Kirill to the orphanage. They gave it back to us during our last trip because they thought we would be taking him home and wanted to send the things we had taken him on our first trip. I cannot hardly look at it without crying. Clayton asked if he could sleep with it so it will have someone to love it until Kirill comes home. Breaks. My. Heart.
- Our agency thinks our appeal will be filed on Monday or Tuesday and then hopefully the Supreme Court will hear our case quickly. They are guesstimating that it may be heard sometime in the first couple of weeks in April. When we have an exact date, you can be sure I will post it on here. We will need an army of prayer warriors praying for Kirill on that day for sure!
Ok, there's more in my head but I'm going to really try to sleep tonight. I'm going back to work tomorrow for the first time since we left for Russia two weeks ago. It will be tough in some ways, but I'm also welcoming the distraction. I really love my job too, so that helps tremendously!
Again, I just have to end with a big THANK YOU. We will never be able to adequately express our gratitude for your prayers and encouragement.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Kirill's Story
For those of you just joining our family's journey to adopt Kirill, I thought it might be helpful to have a summary so you don't have to go back and read this entire blog. That could take a long time since we started our adoption almost two years ago.
Two years ago; that was when Greg and I began praying for God to do whatever he wanted with our lives. We handed him a “blank check” so to speak, and told him to cash it. He opened our eyes to children with disabilities wasting away across the ocean in Eastern Europe. We joined God and started our adoption journey.
Our family is more than equipped to handle a child with special needs. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education. I am a member of the Board of Directors of Best Buddies of Alabama. I have volunteered for RISE and Eagles’ Wings. All of these organizations serve individuals with special needs. My husband I have close friends and family who have special needs and we are a big part of each other’s lives. Our wedding party included some of these special people. Our involvement with individuals with special needs led us to adopt a child with special needs; specifically, we chose Down Syndrome.
As we prayed over the faces of thousands of orphaned children with Down Syndrome, we ultimately chose a little boy named Sergey from Russia. Eight months later, as we neared the finish line of our adoption, one of Sergey’s family members in Russia stepped forward to adopt him. We were heartbroken for our loss, but God showed us that we were following him, and his ways are perfect. We knew we still wanted to adopt, so the way we saw it, two children would find homes because of our journey…Sergey went to his family and now we would choose another child to come into our family. We took great comfort in knowing that God could see this when we first committed to Sergey! We were honored to be a part of his plan.
Shortly after losing Sergey, we received a new referral with a grainy photo of a four-year-old blond-haired boy wearing pink glasses named Kirill. We were instantly in love with him. We had to re-file a lot of our paperwork because of the change in referrals and regions of Russia, but we were fast and we thought we were looking at three more months at the most until we would have Kirill home.
That was well over a year ago.
Since then so many things have happened. A tragic story of an adoptive mother sending her child back to his country alone on a plane with a note pinned to his shirt rocked our world…he was from Russia. Adoptions in Russia came to a screeching halt. Kirill’s region stopped processing adoptions for eight long months. The judge refused to accept any Amercian adoption cases until an official treaty was signed between the United States and Russia.
Even though we wouldn’t be able to finalize the adoption in court until the treaty was signed, we were allowed to go visit Kirill and sign our official petition to adopt him in August 2010. We fell more deeply in love with him. This was our son.
During that time, we found out that Kirill is the first child from his region EVER to be adopted with Down Syndrome. A birth mother keeping her child with Down Syndrome is unheard of in this area of the world. Adoptions of children with Down Syndrome just don’t happen there, these children are literally hidden away from society in orphanages and mental institutions. As our process continued, it became apparent that Kirill would be a pioneer. If our adoption was approved, it would pave the way for other children with special needs to be adopted from this region.
Then, a miracle happened around Christmas and the judge in this region suddenly changed her mind and began processing American adoptions again. We were elated. Could this be the light at the end of a very long tunnel? I was somewhat nervous about Kirill being the first child adopted with Down Syndrome from his region, but our agency was very confident that if we got a court date, our adoption would be approved. In seventeen years, they had never had a case rejected IF the family was issued a court date. We were told not to worry, so I didn’t. After meeting the judge’s requests for several supporting court documents, we were finally granted a court date-March 17, 2011. St. Patrick’s Day…I was thrilled. This would be our new favorite holiday! Our son was coming home!
Our other son, Clayton, who had just turned three when we started this adoption process, has prayed fervently for his brother. He is now almost five. When we told him Kirill was coming home, oh my…we had an excited big brother on our hands! At one point he even went to his room, dumped out his toy cars and divided them into two stacks…one for him and one for Kirill. He will not even speak of having separate bedrooms. He wants Kirill to sleep in the same room as him and has been sleeping with a stuffed animal he is planning to give to Kirill.
Last week, as we sat in the courtroom and suffered through five agonizing hours of difficult questioning, we were not prepared for anything but an approval of our case. Two doctors, two social workers, and the Minister of Children’s Services all made very strong statements on our behalf. They spoke strongly on our behalf.
But when the ruling was read, the judge said, “Your application to adopt is rejected.” The basis given was that Kirill was “not socially adaptable” due to his “medical condition” and he was better off in an institution than in a home with a family. As the judge read her ruling, she stated several times that we were a good family, that we met all the criteria to adopt a child, but that she would not approve our adoption because Kirill has Down Syndrome and he could not socially adapt to being adopted. She told us that we could adopt another child, because legally our application had no problems according to Russian adoption law. The ruling stated she would approve our adoption for a “typical” child, but not this child. The ruling also stated that he would be better served in a mental institution than in our home; an institution that does the best it can with what it has, but that has one caregiver for every 13 children, all of which have intellectual disabilities. Even though we were approved by our home study and by the USCIS to adopt a child with special needs. Even though we have so much personal experience with children with special needs AND the resources, knowledge, and community support to provide him with the therapies that he will need (and could never get in an institution) to grow and develop at his maximum potential. Even though we had two doctors (from his current and previous orphanages), two social workers (one from the region and one from the orphanage), and the Minister of Children's Services testify that Kirill would be better off in our home than he was in an institution.
It was like a terrible dream. We were so unprepared for this outcome. As we left the courthouse in a mental fog, the doctors and social workers that had testified on our behalf came to us and said, “If you appeal, we will speak again for you. Appeal this decision. Kirill belongs with your family.” Of course we were going to appeal…I could no more walk away from our biological son, Clayton, at this point. Kirill is just as much my son. WE LOVE HIM. It is absolutely heartbreaking to think about having to explain to Clayton that Kirill may not be coming home. I cry everytime I think about it. He loves his brother so much already.
So here we are, asking God to move the mountain that is standing between Kirill and us as we appeal to the Supreme Court in Moscow. Please pray with us and for us.
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