Sunday, July 26, 2009

You're Doing What?!?

That's probably what most of you will be saying after you read the following statement:

We are adopting.

That's right...we're adopting. A little boy. With Down Syndrome. After I've repeatedly said we are a "one and done" family. So how did we get to this decision? Because let's face it, most of you are wondering that so here's the short version:

Because God told us to do it.

Now for the longer version. When I was in high school, God began to nudge me toward people with special needs. I volunteered with the local Special Olympics and it was the highlight of my year, every year. Seriously, given the choice between going to prom or helping with Special Olympics, I would've chosen the Special Olympics. I especially enjoyed working with the kids who had Down Syndrome. I just felt like those were the kind of people I wanted to be around. People who didn't care what you looked like, what kind of clothes you wore, what kind of car you drove. They were the purest, most genuine example of love.

Fast forward to college. At one point during my 5 major changes, I was an early childhood special education major. During that time, I was placed at RISE for a practicum rotation and I met lots of kids with Down Syndrome. I grew especially close to one family, the Gabriel's, and babysat for them often. In fact, their daughters were the flower girls in our wedding. I also babysat for a 16-year-old boy with Down Syndrome. Around the same time, I met Greg and he shared my love for these two special kids. During a conversation before we married, I asked Greg if he would ever consider adopting a child with Down Syndrome. It was something I felt an urging to do and I wanted to make sure my potential husband wasn't going to run screaming from the idea. He told me he thought he could see that in our future, but we both agreed that it was something we would do "later."

Greg and I really hadn't talked much more about adopting a child with DS since we had Clayton. In fact, Clayton was such a handful as an infant/toddler that we thought he was probably it for us. That coupled with the fact that I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes led us to believe we were only going to have one child. Honestly, I was completely fine with that. I was an only child and felt like I had a great childhood and upbringing. I was comfortable with our little family and thought we could do a lot more financially with one kid. Both Greg and I agreed that our family was complete and we started planning to build a house on some land we own. We were going to continue building our "American Dream."

But something didn't feel right. So a couple of months ago, we started praying for God to open us up to whatever he wanted to do with our lives. Around the same time, we started going to a class at church taught by our friend David Breedlove called "the bucket list." Basically it was about living your life with the end in mind. It asked the question, are we are living our lives now to serve God or ourselves? Are we allowing God to work his will through us? Is our "bucket list" one that is for our benefit or for the benefit of the kingdom? Greg and I both felt like there was something else that God wanted us to do, but we didn't really know what at the time. We just knew we were laying ourselves out there and opening our lives up to anything he wanted.

A few weeks ago Greg called to tell me that something we had been praying for had finally happened. We had finally found someone to buy our share of a small business we had been a part of for the past few years. The first thing I thought of wasn't seed money for a house, but adopting a child with Down Syndrome and I told Greg. It kinda came out of nowhere, but at the same time we both felt like it was something that had been cultivated inside us for years. We started praying for God to show us if this was what he wanted us to do and we kept getting a resounding, "YES!" At one point, I called to talk to a friend who told me, "If you feel like God is saying 'duh' every time you ask him for an answer, then it's probably something he wants you to do." And that's exactly how we felt. I named this blog after reading Proverbs 24:12. It describes exactly the call we have to adopt. If we didn't do it, I know when I get to heaven, God will ask why I didn't follow his lead. And then he will show me what he could've done with my life if I just hadn't been so stubborn and selfish. Because he knows my heart. And he knows I have a heart for kids with Down Syndrome. And he knows that Greg has also developed the same love for these kids. And I don't think it is coincidence that we feel this tugging to bring one of these children into our family.

I have been extremely humbled during the decision-making process. It's made me really examine my motives, my judgement of others, and my own insecurities about what others think of me. God has given me a renewed spirit of boldness and courage and he's reminding me daily that it doesn't matter what the world thinks. He tells us in 1 Cor. 3:9 that the wisdom of the world is foolishness to him. The wisdom of the world would say, "Why do you want to do that? You have a healthy child. It's going to be hard. It's going to be expensive. It's going to mean you won't get to do/have some of the worldly things that you really wanted. Do you realize you will have a 'child' for life and will never have an empty nest?" But to God, those sound like crazy questions/statements!

We are working with a ministry called Reece's Rainbow. Please take a look at their website. We have chosen a child and I will eventually post more about that (with pictures) on here. I am waiting to get the o.k. from our agency about what we can and can't post on here since we haven't *officially* been accepted. I can tell you that he is one of the waiting children shown on their site. Right now we are just starting the home study process and application with our agency. It's a long process that will take 8-12 months. We humbly ask for your prayers. Some specific things we are praying for now:
  • the care of our child while we wait to bring him home
  • Clayton and his adjustment
  • wisdom as we learn about how to parent a child with special needs
  • wisdom about how to make the transition from an orphanage to our home as easy as possible for our child
  • the "paperwork pregnancy"
  • his name...we are trying to decide what to name him. He has a birth name but it is very foreign. We want to keep some part of it, but we want to call him something more American. We are trying to decide quickly because we want to start calling him that around the house for our sake and Clayton's sake. If we keep calling him by his birth name, it could get confusing!

So pick your jaw up off the floor and join us in the process if you dare! It's going to be a crazy ride and we believe God probably drives like a maniac!

30 comments:

  1. What a lucky and blessed child! Good luck with everything.

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  2. I just got chills. I'm so happy for you, and for this special gift God is blessing you and him/her with. I am so inspired by this, Tesney! We will be praying.

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  3. Wow! What an amazing and inspiring decision. We will definitely keep y'all in our prayers, and I can't wait to hear more!

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  4. You and Greg are so loving, and God will provide you with everything you need in this journey. We will be praying for you. Thanks for inspiring us.

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  5. Tesney,

    I am so HAPPY for both you and Greg. I think we all need to be reminded to do what God has in store for us. In some cases, He calls for the hardest thing... a moral/spiritual awakening which causes us to re-evaluate our lives. Sounds like you guys have been busy listening to Him. I will pray for all of the specifics above and can't wait to see pics and hear his name!

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  6. I am so happy for you! This is such wonderful news! Being friends with Martha Kate, I have heard so many stories over the years about how Johnny enriched their family. She called him the star of the family! I can't wait to hear more about this, and I will definitely be praying for you!

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  7. Tesney, I think this is wonderful! You, Greg, and Clayton are in my prayers. I hope the process goes smoothly.

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  8. Awesome, Tesney! I know your little boy will be such a blessing to your family!

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  9. Ummm wow. Thanks for inviting me to read this. You guys are certainly inspiring & I love the pure and honest way with which you guys have approached this. I'm thrilled for you and will start praying daily!

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  10. Wow, Tes! thanks for the invite to be a part of your journey. I also am humbled by your sincere faith and obedience to God's will speaking in your life. I have also felt drawn to these special children, from working with them at the Sunshine School to having them in my inclusive kindergarten class. I have been extremely close to 3 families especially, and I admire your conscious decision to parent a child that will change your life forever - for the GOOD. I know God will bless you - will continue to bless you. I don't even know what to say - I'm at a loss for words. I will continue to read and keep up with your "progress." Love you and your precious heart!

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  11. I am so honored to call you my friend, Tes. I am also extremely excited to be a witness to and a prayer warrior for this journey you are beginning. I love you!!

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  12. Tesney & Greg, wow....we are so excited for you that you have made this decision for your life together. We too know the Stallings and Johnny from St. Louis and he was a blessing to all of us that knew him and all of us that knew his family too........they were such special people and raised such a special young man. This little boy will be very blessed just by being a part of your family.
    We will be praying that everything moves along smoothly for you and that we get to meet him by way of "Photography" soon.
    May God bless you, Love, Linda & Jim Allen

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  13. What an exciting journey! You and Greg are truly examples and inspirations. I will be praying for you all...continually. Thank you for inviting me along as you welcome your second child. I am so excited for you!

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  14. I think you're right. God drives like a maniac! I am honored that I've been able to witness the process of you opening the door, getting out of the car, and walking around to the passenger seat. Better buckle up :)!

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  15. I am so excited about this upcoming journey for your family! I know that all soon-to-be 4 of you will be greatly blessed. I can't wait to read all about it -- thanks for letting me be a part of something so wonderful!

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  16. I remember us talking about this in college. Thank you for your example of following God's lead. I can't wait to read along as God takes you through this next phase of life!

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  17. thank you for allowing us to be a part of this journey! we will be prayer warriors with your family during this wonderful ride. GOD has called you to do amazing work in HIS kingdom! keep us updated on the next step in the proces.

    love y'all, leslie and jonathan echols :)

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  18. SO thrilled for you guys! Praying for an extra measure of courage, wisdom, patience, and JOY as you start this journey/process/adventure!

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  19. Add safe travel to the prayer list. Also, wisdom for Pop and Gee as we go througt this process with you, Greg and Clayton.

    Love Pop

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  20. ok dad, and safe travel...once a dad, always a dad. :) you and mom will be great with him!

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  21. Tesney, this is incredible. I am so inspired by your decision. It's thrilling to see someone hop on board like you guys are. I was moved as I read your post. I agree, you only have one life to live, so live it to the full, for God's glory!! Good for you, and God bless!!!!

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  22. Tesney and Greg, So excited for you! God is already blessing you and others for this amazing heart felt decision. Thanks for including us in your list of prayer partners. We will pray for your new family and we are confident that God has great things in store for you all! Love You!

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  23. I love ya'll. You are a blessing!

    d

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  24. thank you for bringing me with you on your journey! you have made me wonder what is in my own "bucket list" and if i'm allowing God to live through me. thank you for your honesty. praying for you and can't wait to meet the newest davis!

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  25. This is so exciting, Tesney! Isn't in incredible how God takes our plans and shakes them up as He points us toward His bigger and better plans? So excited to run this journey with you and Greg. Many, many blessing and prayers!

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  26. Tesney...what a wonderful blessing! I am so excited. I am also honored you told me about this blog...I will stalk this one as well. :) It is so spiritually encouraging to see someone seek and follow God with their whole life. Thank you for that gift.

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  27. Tesney, you and Greg are truly an inspiration to the rest of us. I was just in awe as I read your post. It is so amazing what can happen when you give all the control to God. I will add your family to my prayer list as you go through this amazing journey.

    Julie Simmons Risinger

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  28. Absolutely wonderful...Thanks for sharing this special journey and I can't wait to see the blessings God has in store for your little guy and for you, Greg, and Clayton. What a wonderful testimony of faith and selfless love. Thanks for being a great example to the rest of us as you listen to God's calling!

    Amanda Bawcom

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  29. That is a great story and it breaks my heart that you can't just go get him right now :( He is lucky to have you!

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  30. I just stumbled across your blog and it brought tears to my eyes. May God bless your family and bring your little man safely home to you soon! I am also in Tuscaloosa, and adopting 4 foster kids, and there are probably some people questioning my wisdom about that.... but they have been such an incredible and unanticipated blessing, and I know Sarge will be the same for you!!

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