Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Snappy Comebacks

When we first started out homestudy, one of the ten thousand eight hundred and forty two documents we had to read gave some of the most indispensable advice we've received yet. It basically said, "Have a snappy comeback ready for some of the questions people will have about your adoption." It's crazy what people will say/ask. I guess it's a lot like those insensitive statements that people make when you're pregnant. You know, the ones like, "are you sure there aren't two in there?" or "Your nose is HUGE!" or my personal favorite "I knew you were pregnant before you told anyone because your hips started spreading out." (that one was from a co-worker when I was preggers with Clayton).

Let me preface by saying, we know a lot of people think we are crazy for adopting. We also know that they think we are especially crazy for adopting a child with special needs. We are totally fine with that. People thought Noah was crazy when he followed God's command to build an ark. We feel like we have received a command from God to adopt, so to us ignoring that call would be crazy to us. So I'm not upset or mad that people say insensitive things about our adoption, but I just want make sure that I use that as an opportunity to explain what we are doing and gently call attention to the more insensitive comments, especially the ones that may hurt Clayton or John Sergeant when they are old enough to overhear and understand.

Here are some of the comments we've encountered and my "snappy comebacks." I'm sure I'll be adding to this list as we get closer to our travel date and after we get back to the states. Feel free to comment and add your own!

Question: "Have you thought about that a child with DS will be your child for life?" (meaning they may not gain complete independence...this one is by far the most common we have received)
What I want to say: "Why no, we never thought of that. Thanks for sharing your insight. We went into this not knowing A THING about DS, so people like you really help educate us about what to expect." (Dripping with sarcasm)
Snappy Comeback: "All of my children will be my children for life."

Question: "Isn't it expensive? How are you going to pay for that? You know you could use the money to help a lot of kids instead of just one if you donated it to a charity."
What I want to say: "That's none of your business!!!"
Snappy Comeback: "The cost is minimal considering it will prevent a human being from being warehoused in a mental institution. We will pay for it with money. We have chosen to grow our family through adoption and we will continue to support charities of our choosing regardless of our decision to adopt."

Question: "Are you not able have more children of your own?"
What I want to say: "I'm assumming by "have" you mean produce biological children. If so: Are you serious?!? You really feel entitled to know that very personal detail of our lives? And since you are already so concerned about us "buying" a child, you should understand that if we pay that much money for him then he's ours." (again, dripping with sarcasm here)
Snappy Comeback: "John Sergeant IS our own child." And sometimes I'll add the following just to make them realize how inappropriate it is to ask ANYONE that question. "I was diagnosed with a chronic illness when Clayton was three months old. It makes it risky for us to have biological children. However, that did not play into our decision to adopt. It is something we have considered since we were dating. But since you asked about my reproductive health, I'm giving you an answer in the hopes that you will understand how personal and painful that question might be for some women to answer."

And since we're on the subject of reproductive health:

Question: "Well you know what's going to happen now that you are adopting. You will get pregnant."
What I want to say: "Do you know anything about how babies are made?"
Snappy Comeback: "We have taken measures to prevent that from happening. But if it did, it would be a blessing, just like every other child on this earth."

Question: "Have you looked into adopting from (insert country here) instead of Russia? My third cousin twice removed adopted from East Bumfuzzle and it was cheaper there."
What I want to say: "We aren't really discount shopping for a t.v. set. This is a human being."
Snappy Comeback: "We have already committed to a specific child and have carefully considered any cost associated with his adoption. There are a lot of factors that played into our decision besides the cost."

Question: "Aren't you concerned about Clayton (his reaction, not getting attention that he is used to, not having a "real" sibling, the list goes on and on...)?"
What I want to say: "Would you be asking this if I was pregnant??? I'm almost certain not."
Snappy Comeback: "John Sergeant will be his "real" sibling. We have thought a lot about how Clayton will adjust to a new sibling. We are preparing him for the addition of a child to our family. We expect that he will be a great big brother. We are trying to raise him to be compassionate and loving, and we feel like growing our family through adoption models those qualities."

This is a statement, but it's probably the one that bothers me most: "I'm glad you aren't adopting a (biracial, black, or other ethnicity besides Caucasian) child. Is that why you are adopting from Russia?"
What I want to say: "You are ignorant."
Answer: "There are children of all races in Russia, just like in the United States. Children are children, regardless of their race. It just so happens that we are adopting a Caucasian child from Russia."

We don't expect everyone to understand or respond positively to our decision to adopt. Most people have no clue about how much preparation, reading, research, etc. goes into the decision. I think when those people hear someone say, "We're adopting" they automatically think that it was because that person/family wanted to be like Angelina Jolie. Or that the person/family made the decision rashly without much consideration. Newsflash: that's ususally not the case at all. In fact, most adoptive parents are far more prepared in their decision to have children through adoption than parents who have children the "normal way" (to use the words of another insensitive person). In my opinion, going through all the preparation to adopt is a far more labor-intensive process than getting pregnant, no pun intended. (And I've done both). I have even had someone leave a negative comment on this blog about our decision to "adopt a retard so we can pay someone else to raise them." Not sure what was meant by the "paying someone else to raise them" part. I'm guessing daycare (which by the way John Sergeant will not be attending but even if he was...)? Again, nunya...as in "none of your business." I can't imagine what misery that person must live in to say something so evil and ignorant. However, I do hope that we will give gentle answers to such people and help them to see how a little sensitivity goes a long way in talking to adoptive parents and their children.


  1. ARE YOU SERIOUS???? People really say things like that???? How about this for a come back:
    "I'm sorry your Momma didn't teach you social skills. Could you please do society a favor and stay home forever?! You're even an embarassment to social rejects. Thanks, on behalf of all the normals."

    I mean, Tes, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??? I seriously admire you for biting your lip and not totally lighting into them. Hang in there.

  2. You are a better woman than I. I don't know if I could hold back from sarcasm. Lol. I'm pretty sure if someone asked if I was adopting because I couldn't have "my own children" I'd say something along the lines of "Well that pesky birthing process really messed up my hair last time. My bangs haven't been the same since.. so we're just gonna adopt this next one" ::sigh::

    and Argh to the person who commented so negatively. Really? Using the R word? Oy vey. They must be hurting inside, to hide behind the "anon" tag and lambaste those who want to bring their children home. IQ measures your ability to do a bunch of rather odd things, like discern a nonverbal pattern in a bunch of cards, or stack little blocks, or explain what we use an oven for. I don't really think it decides if a human being has merit or not!

  3. Bravo!!! Great post! The best comment I got was from a mom who told me that her oldest child would love another sibling, but she did not want to go through another pregnancy so she told the child she would go "buy one" like i did. I about fell off my chair when she said that. Keep those snappy comebacks ready. i wish I had been prepared, I think I just stared at her with my jaw on the floor.

  4. Muwahahaha!!! Tes I LOVE your comebacks...oh and also your side thought-commentaries too! You have to find the humor through the hurt.

    From an adoptee's perspective, it can be a very painful thing for the entire family when "outside people" make ignorant comments/ask questions that are essentially aimed at devaluing lives. Your snappy comebacks will be a great tool in redirecting their thought processes and will help educate them about adoption and what a family really is.

    Just a side thought...Jesus was adopted (Joseph wasn't his biological dad). Oh and by the way, as Christians we're all adopted too.

  5. Tesney, I just don't know how you handle all this! You're Christian example is amazing. If some idiot asked me ANY of those questions or made ANY of those comments to my face, they'd be picking themselves up off the floor! I admire the way you handle it all in a Godly manner. I admire you and Greg so much for what you're doing. I pray that everything goes well, and I hope I get the opportunity to meet Sarge when you get him HOME.

  6. I am so sorry you have had so many harsh comments.. I agree with Holly, those people were not taught right and are not being very Jesus like.. AT ALL. So far we have had wonderful feedback with our decision to adopt. Although I have already had a few comments and like you, in my mind I am thinking, "Did you really just ask me that"..
    most importantly these children are OUR CHILDREN.. God has hand picked a child just for us. We are very special and very lucky..
    You and Greg are wonderful and are an example to all of us !!

  7. Tesney, I am so proud of you guys. What a gift you are both giving and receiving at the same time. My sister-in-law and her husband just adopted a special needs child from China and if you would like to speak with them I would love to put you guys in contact. As an adopted child myself I can tell you how great it feels to be snatched from nothingness and to be showered with love, kindness, and affection. I become emotional just thinking about what might have been of my life (just think what a tragedy it would have been had we never met, lol).

    The following is only my opinion but I feel compelled to say it. My favorite thing about your attitude and your writing in this is the fact that you discuss it in terms of what God has called your family to do. I really appreciate the singularity in which you are discussing this matter and the lack of piety. Too often, when people are led to a work such as this they say "we are doing this too, and so should you if you want to be a good in God's eyes as us." I love the fact that you guys are mature and comfortable enough in your relationship with Christ that you feel no need to condmen others or puff yourself up. You do what you do because you are what you are.

    I know we disagreed about this one, but you guys are heroes.

  8. Okay, I found your blog through R.R. (I LOVE adoption blogs). Most of the comments I got during our adoption process were positive. But some I remember that were negative were:

    "Couldn't you get a healthy baby if you were adopting domestically instead?" (we were adopting China special needs 3 year-old)

    "There are so many children in the U.S. needing homes, why go to China?"

    and finally,

    "Do you know about RAD?"

    and my favorite:

    "Can you handle another chid?" I wanted to say, "Beter than she can handle living in an institution for life."

  9. I found this post SO refreshing. In fact, I've been wanting to post about it on my own blog and now I'll just simply link to yours instead. ;)

    Now that we are in the middle of all of this paperwork & almost finished with the home study, I am amazed at the people who were critically questioning "if we'd thought this through" or "if we could handle this." I've got news for those people: They WON'T LET US adopt if we haven't/can't!! I have have been asked unending critical questions by the social worker doing our home study--leave the judgement to them!

    On the flip side, I feel like adoption language is SO sensitive. I even worry that I'm saying something incorrectly at times. And I know I am often hyper-sensitive to what others say occasionally. I know friends have hesitated to say well-meant thoughts because they're worried how those thoughts will sound. While we should all weigh our well-meant thoughts, I am also hoping that my opinionated, passionate personality will respond with grace and patience in most circumstances!!

  10. As you know, I have wanted to adopt a little girl from China since I was a small child. Before I got married, I was talking about this with my future mother in law. She seemed very confused as to why I didn't want to conceive "grand-youngins" for her and begin to ask why in the world I was already giving up on having biological children. As I grew tired of trying to explain it, she finally said "you know that the kid wouldn't be white; everybody would know that she wasn't your biological child." My response "it doesn't matter what YOU think; she would be our child and we would love her just the same as any biological children we might have." I then followed up with "good thing you don't have to make that decision." I still feel the same way to this day and that was at least 12+ years ago.

    Ashley :)

  11. Great come backs! I am bracing myself. So far I have only shared the information with close friends and family. I am sure that being a single mom will only add to fun for me :)

  12. Good snappy comebacks! Yes, it is always harder to answer with grace, but as Amanda said--if you can help change some thought processes, that would make a great impact.
    On a sidenote, I know three others who are adopting internationally right now, so I hope, first of all, that more people in general are making this wonderful decision, but also that more people will then become educated in how to support rather than to question and be critical.
    We'll continue to pray for your family!

  13. Thanks for the comments guys! I feel compelled to add that I hope this didn't come across as judgemental or harsh. I was one of those who probably made insensitive remarks at one time. I think I'm probably guilty of calling biological children "your kids" vs. biological children in the past. And I don't want to be overly sensitive when John Sergeant gets home. However, it's been brought to my attention through this process that well-intended comments can be very hurtful to our children and I want to protect them from that as much as I can, of course. I also want to teach them sensitive language and model how to bring to well-meaning people's attention that comments like the ones mentioned can really come across negatively.

    For the most part, we have received positive responses and tons of support. So this is not the "norm". However, it does happen and I'm very aware of how it could sound to Clayton and John Sergeant.

    As for the negative annony comment...I try to pray for that person. At first I was furious that someone would say that about MY child, or any one of God's precious children with DS. But then I prayed about how to handle it and God gave me a word that 1. that is Satan using a person to frustrate me, and 2. they are probably so unhappy in their own life. It ended up making me feel really sorry for them. It's amazing to me that someone could be so miserable that they are out there looking at blogs and leaving negative comments for fun. They must be hurting really badly. BTW, I love what you said about IQ, Molly!

  14. Girl, I have been there! It is so frustrating! Most people don't mean to be so rude they just don't get it. One of the ones that I got was from someone who I showed our referral picture to. They replied, "Well at least he looks like Keith so people won't know he is adopted." First of all our son is Vietnamese and in no way resembles Keith! Secondly, don't you think people would know that he is adopted when we suddenly have an eight year old son! Finally, and most importantly, I don't care if they know he is adopted! Adoption is one of the ways God forms families! Adoption is wonderful!

    On another thought, I wanted to tell you that we too thought about the story of Noah when we adopted and were being told by everyone that we were crazy. That is partly why we named him Noah. (The other reason is because it means rest or peace which is what we wanted for him after living in an orphanage for 8 years.) God called us to adopt and made it very clear that Noah was to be our son. We are now starting to see amazing things happen in our family and it is becoming so clear to us why God led us to adoption and to Noah. I know God is going to bless your family as well. We have had a lot of difficult challenges, but we have grown so much though it all!

    As for the people who warn you to how this adoption might not be good for Clayton for various reasons..... don't let them scare you! Trust God! The biggest concerns we heard from other people about our adopting Noah involved all the horrible things they thought might happen to Eliana as the younger sister. We have not experienced any of those things. In fact, God has used Noah to teach Eliana love lessons that she would not have been able to learn anywhere else. She has unbelievable compassion now. She has an amazing grasp on loving even when someone is not being very loveable. She understands forgiveness. In fact, being Noah's sister has given her a greater understanding of the need for Jesus and of his unconditional love and forgiveness. She adores her big brother and he is her favorite playmate. Just yesterday she and Noah were playing house. She was the mommy and he was the daddy and they were going to adopt all the children at the orphanage they were visiting. It was about 20 kids (stuffed animals)! It thrilled my heart to see the compassion they had for those children who needed families and how excited they were that they were about to have 20 kids in their family!

    I am so excited about your journey and am enjoying reading about it on your blog. Thanks for sharing!

  15. People are UNBELIEVABLE! I would say I'm surprised that people even asked you these questions, but I would be lying if I did.

    More power to you, my friend. I'd be actually saying the things you listed as "what you'd like to say." Probably means I need a filter. :)

  16. Wow, Tesney -- I can't and yet I can imagine people saying these things. It is wise to have a comeback prepared so that you aren't caught off-guard and say something that you would regret, although I'm sure you can't be prepared for everything. God is being glorified in every aspect of your adoption -- thank you for sharing your journey with us!

  17. The best come back that I have heard for these kinds of questions is to ask the person, "Why do you ask?" The question helps them see that what they are asking might not be appropriate. If by chance they are asking out of interest in the adoption process you then have an opportunity to share with them.

  18. Keith,
    I just read the same suggestion in one of the books I'm reading on adoption. I will add that to my list of responses. I definitely want to be a advocate for adoption and would never want to lose an opportunity to talk with someone who is considering adoption. Thanks!

  19. My OB/gyn even asked me if I wanted to have any of my own kids.

    There is a fine line between giving grace to those who uneducated(read:ignorant) and using the opportunity to chastize. I try to use that moment to educate but in a nonjudgmental way. It is definitely hard not to say the "Thing You Want To Say" and I am not always successful at holding back.

    One thing to note: People ask these questions ever after the child is here. (As if said child cannot hear) So far Sophie is obvilious it seems but the literature I read says you must speak up for your child loud and clear and protect their place in your family. At that point I will be less worried about being rude and more worried about my children knowing they are MINE.

  20. i don't have a personal adoption story but this post may me wonder how my responses/words to others in various circumstances could be changed to be more graceful. i often jump to the "thing i want to say" before seasoning my words with love. every interaction can be a ministry / teaching experience and i should use those (instead of being proud of how witty my comeback was!) thanks for the reminder. and thanks for sharing your journey

  21. I am sorry you had to encounter those things but totally impressed by how you handled it! I hope that one day if and when we make the deicision to do something so amazing, I can be that strong! You can tell that God is completely in the center of this whole process!!! You do get some stupid comments made to you when you are pregnant, adopting or making any life changing decision - as if you haven't put any thought into any of this!!

  22. I have posted this many times, but when we adopted Luke {he is AA}, someone actually asked me "Is he mixed with anything?"....

    It is always funny what people will ask. A lot of times I think they just don't think about how things will sound. This person wasn't being mean spirited, but she def. wasn't thinking. :)

  23. Tes, I totally agree with you on EVERY point. I'm not sure what all my parents with through when they adopted me, but they were in their upper 30's and were told by a lot that they were "to old to raise a baby"...Well, I am living proof that they, along with God, knew what they were doing. Congrats on your new/upcoming addition...keep adding to that Crimson Tide fan base!

  24. Hi. I ran across your blog and wanted to say I loved your comments. My husband and I adopted our son from Russia a yr and a half ago. We were asked all of these questions, some too numerous to count. I was amazed (and sometimes appauled) by the questions and statements people would make. Good luck with the process and travels. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  25. Okay I laughed through this. I wish someone had told me the same advice.

    This one: "I'm glad you aren't adopting a (biracial, black, or other ethnicity besides Caucasian) child. Is that why you are adopting from Russia?"

    WOW. Of course since we are adopting from Ethiopia, I haven't gotten that. WOW.

    My answer to the "why aren't you adopting a kid from here?" is "How many children have you adopted?" Because no one who has ever gone through an adoption would ever question another person. They know how complex a situation it is.

    I admit, I like to watch people squirm.

    But just so you know, the adoption comments I have gotten have not been near anywhere as rude as the comments I got when I got pregnant for the 3rd and 4th time. And it amazed me no end how many people felt entitled to ask "Has Walker been fixed yet?" Seriously. As if that were ANY of their business. My 'favorite' reply was from my mother's (judgmental) friend, who when she heard I was pregnant with #4, simply replied, "Oh." Nice, huh?

    People are...interesting.

  26. Hi there:) We found your blog via someone else's blog and I just happened to see the link to this entry. LOVE IT!
    I, too, love the question, "So you you know it's for life, right?". We also get, "Why would you do that?!".
    *shakes head*
    Crazy, huh?
    But as another friend of ours adopting TWO boys from EE with DS, adopting a child with special needs polarizes people. Sadly, it can be very revealing of where peoples's hearts and priorities are.
    I look forward to reading more and will be praying for your family. I read in the other blog that you had been waiting awhile:(

  27. I know this is an old post, but I LOVE it!!! I found your story on Facebook & reposted!! We are in the process of becoming foster parents in our state in hopes of adopting. When we tell people, we get the same reactions. While our child(ren) may or may not have explicit special needs, they certainly have been through some trauma that will need to be dealt with. People just don't understand it. And we get the infertility question a LOT (we don't have any children yet)!! We also get lots of racial questions!! It's awful what some people will say!!!

    We are praying for your family and wishing you the best in your appeal!! God bless you for doing this!!!

  28. Hahaha! First time visitor to your blog (came here via a link from Christie) and as an adult who was adopted as a child, I laughed AND cringed reading this. East Bumfuzzle. HA!

    My adoption was domestic, so my parents probably weren't asked all the same ones as you, but my goodness some people are nosey!

    Sometimes I would love to be rude or sarcastic back, but my favourite response is to smile charmingly at them and ask "Why do you want to know?" (Translation: What in the world do you think it's any of your business!?") UNLESS it's a genuine question of course. Then I don't mind talking to them. :)

    Thanks for the laugh! :)

  29. I think I have to admit that I like the sarcastic answers better, LOL. Give it to 'em, I say!!

    Seriously, thought, I can't believe people say anything except "How wonderful!" or "What a blessing!"

  30. It rips my heart out that people have said these things to you, and the kicker is I'm sure that some well-intentioned people that love you have been amongst them. I'm so sorry and I applaud your "snappy comebacks". I would have a hard time not saying something totally inappropriate which would not serve to educate or help anyone understand that their questions are insensitive, ignorant and none of their business. Praying for you and sending best wishes that Kirill will be home in your arms soon.

  31. I like your 'snappy comebacks'. Our speech should be graceful and kind even to the most unkind and ungracious people. It can be very hard to do, especially when the person being insulted in your case is most often the child. Adoption is hard. I am committing to pray for your family and Kirill, and that God will bless him and love him at those times you're not able to. But I hope that God will able YOU to do that, that very soon he will feel your loving embrace along with Christ's.

  32. I'm always amazed at what people think they have the right to ask. My parents were foster parents when my brother and I were small - we adopted one child that we fostered (long story - mom would have taken them all!) Little brother and I learned a lot from that experience. And so did (adopted) little sister. Adoption was never a secret at out house - why should it be? There is nothing shameful about it. It's just a different way to expand a family.

    For the most part, Little Sister looks a lot like me - same dark hair, dark eyes. But one night a new boyfriend jokingly asked if she was adopted - his jaw dropped to the floor and he turned all kinds of red when I said "Yes." Little Sister thought it was hilarious!

    Another situation happened in 1969 - when I was a baby. My mom is as white as can be, I got my dad's olive skin. A woman followed my mom around a department store asking where I got my dark skin... She finally got the nerve to ask if my dad was Asian (we lived in Huntsville - big Asian community working for NASA). Mom finally answered "She got it from the milk man" and turned and walked out!

  33. Love all your snappy comments! I always believed i would adopt (and am not ruling it out, although my Heavenly Father hasn't opened that door as yet). I believe he's teaching me that he doesn't choose it for everyone. I have always been a proponent of adoption; but I believe God chooses who he wants to be a parent (either biologically, through fostering or by adoption). I was one of those kids who was reared in the foster care system of the United States! Whether or not I should have been adopted is irrelevant, since I wasn't! Well, not by a human family anyways! I was saved from "the system" when I accepted the love and adoption of my heavenly Father. He knew what was best for me and He alone could provide the family I needed! After my seventeen years in foster care, I finished college and worked as a social worker for another 17 years in "the system" in which I was reared. I am a proponent of adoption, but only when that adoption is initiated and guided by the divine hands of our Heavenly Father! I am thrilled that He has blessed you and led you to this child He has given you!

  34. I've been reading your blog now for weeks when I get a minute. I, as many of your readers, have a difficult time holding in the sarcasm. When I am able to, it is not in my own strength, but sheerly because, what the other person said, has left me speechless. Like, the time we were finally able to bring our little Sami home. In sleep deprived, yet proud as punch new mommy mode, I headed out for my first grocery shopping trip with her. Still feeling pretty great about how I may appear as mommy of a newborn (since, most of my labor with her was paperwork, as well) I felt all aglow..until...a well meaning distant cousin (who had no clue we had been in the adoption process) hollered from two isles over "That's not YOUR baby is it?!?! OH That's right!! See, I knew you looked pregnant!!" Yup, left me pretty speechless. The time, though, that I couldn't hold it in, was when, once again, grocery shopping with ALL my youngins in tow, including my 2 nieces, who were staying with us all summer. This lady says, "OH my! Are they ALL yours?!?" and to that I said, "NOPE, thankfully the rest are at camp!"

  35. Thank you for this post!!! I was referred to your blog since we are adopting. I am amazed at the comments people say. I am also thankful for the encouragement we have received as well. It is great to think about your responses to these unwanted comments and use it as an opportunity to challenge someone else's beliefs and open their eyes!! Thanks again!!! I love all the things you wanted to say too. ;-)

  36. My husband and I are adopting a little girl from India. We are also adopting a child with special needs. We do not have a referral yet, but have been asked so many of the questions you mentioned! Our agency had a sheet with answers too :)
    My least favorite (most annoying) question because this will be our first child, "Why don't you have one of your own?" and I always reply, "She WILL be our own."
    2nd least favorite (when I excitedly tell someone we are adopting "Aw, I'm so sorry. You can't have kids?" Technically, I don't know the answer to that. I haven't had tests done and we have always known we were supposed to adopt, so I DONT KNOW! But if I did have infertility issues and someone said that to me, I would really break down. It's so insensitive!
    3rd least favorite "Why don't you support your own country and adopt from foster care?" I always say "Jesus loves the little children..all the children of the world!" Actually I sing it haha. A child is a child no matter where he/she comes from. Every child is important!
    I love this post. I think I'm going to post a similar one on my blog :)

  37. I loved reading this! I wish more people really sat and pondered the love that takes place in finding your child. All I have to say is Kirill is your son!!! He just came in a different way and that does not make him any less yours! God knew that was the best way for him to get to you. And he knew the life lessons that went along with it would uplift your family as well as the hundreds of people who have learned of your journey in finding your son.

  38. I love love love this post! Thank you for sharing. We are just entering the process and already getting snide questions and comments. Thanks for the insight on how to deal with it!

  39. This is such a great post, it is incredible that people can be so rude and insensitive. I adopted a little girl from China and after the third time I was asked how much she cost I thought I had better find a good response. Now I say: My daughter is a human being not a Prada purse. I got this off a funny web site for comebacks, here are some more responses to how much did your kid cost.