Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Just Keep Running

Hebrews 12:1-3
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. 3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.


In the past, I've tried to be a runner. I even ran a half-marathon once and vowed that if God let me finish without dying, I would never attempt something so stupid again. I'm slow, I have terrible form, and I suck wind the entire time.  I really loved jogging for a while; it was therapeutic. But there's a difference between a jogging and running. Jogging is pretty much fast walking. If anything, I'm a jogger; I'm not a runner.

Several of my good friends are runners. I've been to marathons to cheer them on and I'm always in awe of their ability to endure the race when everything in their mind and body tells them to STOP. I've watched them around mile 23, struggling to put one foot in front of the other but somehow mustering the strength and endurance to just keep running through the pain.

A few nights ago I had a dream. It was so vivid and I've been replaying it over and over in my mind. I was running a race and I actually won. At the end of the race, I crossed the finish line and Greg was there waiting for me. We were celebrating the victory, but he told me that I couldn't get the prizes for winning the race. I had not paid the entry fee, so I wasn't qualified to win anything. The prizes were also vivid in my mind; there were clothes, money, children's items, and gift certificates to various stores. But I couldn't have any of the prizes because I was never officially entered into the race. I had to accept that I had run the race and finished in first place; but I would not be able to have any material "treasures" to show for my accomplishment of finishing first. And I was okay with this. I was reminded of Jesus and how he ran the race of life, enduring the horrible persecution of men, winning nothing here on earth, but winning everything in heaven.

I believe God gave me this dream to let me know that no matter what happens with Kirill, I am simply called to run the race. I'm not guaranteed any kind of earthly rewards. My prize is Jesus and being with him in Heaven. My race is to run to HIM. So I will keep putting one foot in front of the other despite the pain. I will keep my eyes focused on the prize and run the path that Jesus has paved for me. Because the race is won and victory is in HIM.

34 comments:

  1. YES! Love this post!
    Will be praying and praying (and praying some more) today.

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  2. Step by Step. No matter what. Simple faith. I am praying that God continues to annoint your heart and mind these coming weeks with dreams that comfort, thoughts that inspire and hopes that cause you to press on.

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  3. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

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  4. Tesney- I'm so glad that you are finding peace as you endure this waiting time. Your attitude is truly amazing and inspiring.

    My prayers are with you and your family each and every day that Kirill will come home where he belongs.

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  5. Continuing to keep you in our prayers...you are never far from my thoughts. As the mother and father of two adopted little girls...one being special needs this is so very heavy on our hearts. We KNOW God has you in the palm of His hand...and He holds Kirill in the palm of His hand...He loves Him infinitely more than you could ever imagine...your faith is your testimony and is giving all the glory to the ONE and ONLY. Praying sweet sister.

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  6. Beautifully written. Still praying and believing for you that a miracle is going to take place today.

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  7. It takes great courage and strength to write that. To continue to run no matter what happens is not an easy task. Your family is in my prayers and I am continuing to pray that God will move on your behalf.

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  8. Thank you, Tesney. Praying for y'all!

    Also, it has been through this that my husband and I have been made aware of Reece's Rainbow. We had been planning to be the process of adopting domestically in about two years, but your story and the awareness you've given us of Reece's Rainbow has changed our minds and, more importantly, our hearts. We'll keep you updated on what we do, and we'll prayerfully await your updates here!

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  9. Tears and prayers in California this morning. Your family is heavy on my heart. Your testimony is beautiful. God is good.

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  10. you and your family are so inspirational.

    God has great plans for us all.... even if we don't quite understand them.

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  11. What a comforting thought amid all the present pain of waiting. Run, walk, or hobble we are to keep moving forward and we won't be alone...awesomeness in the word.

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  12. WOW! Thanks so much for sharing!

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  13. What a powerful dream experience and testimony! I've also had a dream where I was able to be ok turning something over to God and accept. Praying for you!

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  14. You are in my prayers. I can't get your sweet boy out of my mind. So glad God gave you this dream - you are right, Jesus is the only prize! The only thing worth running toward. I am going to keep praying He gives you your baby boy here on earth, but whatever happens, I know He will give you grace. Many blessings.

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  15. Praying and fasting for you and the others here in Iceland. I believe that a miracle will occur as well, as this all is not outside of god's power. Be strong my friend, wearemany, on our knees with you.

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  16. you fill my waking thoughts! keep hanging on in there and know there is prayer from the uk and much love. wishing you peace and love in the hardest of waiting times. jane xxxx

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  17. Just as you broke through the finish line, I am praying for breakthroughs - both spiritual and physical - in your adoption process. Praying fervently and without ceasing in TX, until I hear Kirill is home!

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  18. What an awesome dream! I truly believe that was God speaking to you. I am still praying for you guys and Kirill. Please let me know if you need anything from us.

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  19. We have been waiting 2.5 years to bring our son home from Kyrgyzstan. Your dream of running is also the same message we have gotten from the Lord. Just obey and keep running. No guarantees of anything other than that glorious day when we run into Jesus' arms and He rejoices over us and how well we ran, for Him. Bless you guys.

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  20. Praying for your family and for the the dream you have to unfold in His perfect time. I just read in The Dreamgiver, "Am I looking up at Giants from my perspective or down on them from God's?" So glad He has a different perspective than we do. May God be glorified through your family!

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  21. I can't find the Saving Kirill page on facebook???

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  22. Thanks for sharing that. You are right. May we all seek the Lord's strength to run the race He has for us no matter what.. for the "joy set before us" when we are with Him." We are praying for you.

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  23. After we were told "no" by the court in Russia (after court #3), my husband (also Greg) asked me, "Bek, if we have to leave Russia without our sons, will you still love God?" For a split second I thought it was an absurd question, until I began to play the reality of it in my mind and the heartbreak for "my" sons.
    Trusting and loving God is a choice my heart and mind had to make when all seemed hopeless.
    You are making that choice now to trust and love your only hope...your Savior and God.
    We are PRAYING that God will, in His great mercy and for His great glory, put Kirill in your loving arms! Lots of love to your family!

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  24. hi :) i am a nanny for three children and since adoption is one of my passions, we talk about children who need a home or who are being adopted all the time. i was sharing your story with "my" kiddos (who are 4, 6, and 8) and they were excited to hear about more children getting their forever families...until i told them the judge said no. my 8 year olds lip began to quiver and she said "that's just making me cry!" as tears slipped down her cheeks. i told her it was ok to cry and she said "but that's just soo mean!!" we talked about how we have to pray hard for God to change the no to a yes...but must trust His decision no matter what. so among all the many, many people praying for you is one sweet 8 year old who very much wants your little boy to come home to you! we will continue praying! His will be done!

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  25. I just read that the Hook family was granted their adoption today! I'm praying this breakthrough will allow you the opportunity to petition the judge once again for Kirill. Yesterday I was reminded that God parted the waters twice for the Isrealites to cross - first into freedom, and second into their promised land. Praying that Kirill and Baby J will soon cross into the promised land of their forever families.

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  26. I found my way here through a friend's blog and am praying for your family, earnestly praying that God will bring Kirill home to you very soon.

    This post is beautifully written and encouraged me today in a way I very much needed. Thank you for sharing your heart.

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  27. I am a mom to 5, our youngest has ds and looks just like your Kirill. I'm following, and praying without ceasing. Your son is on my heart 24/7. Don't give up....he will come home, I believe.

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  28. Up here in Canada, we are praying for your family, and for sweet Kirill to come home to you!

    God bless,

    Kerin

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  29. I am Kelly Mortellite's mom. I saw your story through one of Kelly's posts. I am praying for you and am asking others to as well. May God give you strength as you go this this difficult time. I am hopeful that you will be able to bring Kirill home with you and that this will open the door to others doing so, too. God bless you.

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  30. Just learned of your story. Praying for you.

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  31. Tears in my eyes. How beautifully and eloquently said. I am among the army of prayer warriors and those donating to help bring Kirill home to you - but I also want to give you encouragement and strength for your wisdom in seeking the Lord's strength to run the race He has for us all, no matter what. Praying and weeping for you. Building our treasures in heaven. Love to you, dear Mama.

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  32. I saw--and then shared--your story via Facebook. You and your family will be covered in prayer for His perfect will and for the truth of this child's value to be made clear to this judge.

    I desperately pray that things work out the way we all hope and believe they should, but regardless of what happens, I know that God will honor your remarkable faithfulness in this. Your attitude and behaviors have already brought such glory to His name. I only wish I could give you a tight hug in person.

    Blessings to all of your family, including Kirill.

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  33. Can't put into words the HOPE that God is still giving through this hard chapter in your lives.We are trusting through a severe "no" in a different way, and it is getting hard to still trust that He asked us to move forward to begin this adoptive journey, we have 4 precious gifts already and 2 have SN. I've described this adoption a lot like the full marathon we ran a few years ago...I have a running style similar to yours;) He brought us to the finish line at 5:33:00 and at mile 22 I wanted to quit, God sent some encouragers then and feeling a lot like I'm at mile 22 now I found your blog.
    I KNOW God is faithful and I will keep moving forward in this marathon of an adoption because He asked me to...scared, tired, struggling to see the finish line, and wondering how that older lady in the running skirt somehow managed to lap me again?!
    If there isn't another son at the end, I know the answer is "Yes, I will still trust you." And I will continue to teach my kiddos to follow after God and serve the vulnerable because He asked us to.
    Thank you for sharing your heart!

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